The scariest thing on Halloween month is not ghost, devil-carved pumpkin, or the "boo" sound your siblings do behind you when you are not noticing.
It's your FIRST time.
Before you go off and think this is about 18+ content, I can assure you that...
... this is exactly...
... nope...
I'm not gonna tell you now.
It's up to you to find out whether this is all about debauchery, 69, or Fifty-Shades-of-Grey-imitation...
... by reading this article.
If not, feel free to click the 'X' button on that tab and CIAO!
(plus, no one is going to read this, except ME, MYSELF & I)
(maybe I will regret it 10 years later? but who CARES? As someone said, "Let the future you worry about your future problem!")
Okay, this is a BIG detour. What did I say again?
Yup, the scariest thing on this planet, huh...
Here's the list I may (or may not) experience:
The first time you get scolded...
The first time you get beat...
The first time someone says NO to you...
The first time you face rejection...
The first time you face rejection in the public...
The first time you fail your exam...
The first time you fail your partner's pleasure...
Blah, blah, blah...
First of all, I just wanna say I'm not a psychologist, scientist, or any research expert.
I'm not going to bring out some studies to back up what I say, especially NOW I feel shitty just because...
I get my first rejection/critism/not-really-suitable/not-that-great-comment about my profession.
I forgot the exact words of it and I REFUSE to go back to find back the email threads to relive the trauma of receiving a negative comment.
I know, I know, everyone gets it, blah blah blah.
This is my space. So, I'm just gonna rant here. Don't like it?
Same instruction as above: just click the 'Exit' symbol there on the most right side of this tab and bye!
I find out something about why the "First-Time" is so scary than your ex appears at your Halloween party after all...
1. People are never prepared (even everyone around them prepares them).
Not some new stuff... but now I think back, even if how much someone told you that,
You need to have failed only to get to success;
You have to suck before you get great;
You have to suffer and sacrifice before you succeed and shout "I'M THE CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!'
No matter what kind of experienced expert, your friends or your family say to you to "prepare" you for the situation, the simple fact is:
You are never prepared!
Only by YOU experiencing something yourself, then only you feel ALL the things people told you so.
Even with a "prepared" mind, you just can't escape that dreaded feeling that everyone has warned you about:
"You are a loser"
"You are a nobody"
"You are not worthy"
Those emotions are real. Those feelings are there.
We can't escape. And we also can't ignore.
All we can do is face them upfront because that is the reality.
This brings me to the second point...
2. Expectation is the WORST.
Often, people tell you this, tell you that... They help you to wrap your mind around this "reality" of failure.
But, everyone forgets one thing:
NO ONE THINKS ALIKE.
Even if 2 people experience exactly the same scenario, they will not think the same, react the same, and feel the same.
Hence, the universe will create a different "reality" that only suits them based on their behavioral reactions.
So, expectation is the worst, just like how one's experience in using online dating sites will end up differently from others.
One expects to find a soul mate on the dating app but ends up getting lied to and played.
One expects to know new friends only on the dating app but ends up having a husband.
What can we say? Life is unfair meant to live, not expect.
3. It is only scary if it's negative.
Here's a basic (basic!) truth about humans:
*We are fragile.
*not a spoiler
Like, hella fragile... even more fragile than after an iPhone 14 got smacked by a hammer...
Okay... THAT is a bad example.
(Wait! Is it iPhone or Samsung that is smark-proof?... okay never mind it)
My point is...
Now I think about why I feel so shitty about that negative comment I received about my work is that...
I forgot how great I am!!!
I forgot to go to my Google Drive and read those amazing comments I got throughout my writing life:
*Spoiler alert: My writing life is only merely 1 year plus, max 2 years for writing during university. So, it's not like that's my ENTIRE writing life.*
"We like your writing as it is very natural and makes people feel like they wanna read more."
"Your writing style is captivating and engaging! Definitely labels you as a copywriter!"
"You should write your own book/novel."
Fine, I gotta admit...
My writing is not consistently good. But, I think with consistent writing, it helps to get my brain sharpened and I believe my writing skill will eventually get better, and NOT easily swayed by -ve comments.
Because, to be honest, the positive comments I received above are all given when I was writing consistently - either a blog post or a social media post...
And I received that negative comment when I was not writing a single piece of work for myself...
I only write for clients who pay me...
But not for myself anymore...
Which speaks to a big problem, especially for someone like me who initially LOVES writing when it is not done for money.
Now, I really need to find a balance between these both...
So, I guess the takeaway of this post is...
Every month is Halloween. Make your first-time experience forgotten as that first-time is long gone when you practice constantly.
Mwa HA HA HA HA
Okbye.
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