With Truth, Trust´n Communicate

TRUTH

I have always wondered why it is so hard that people couldn’t speak the truth. Why we have to hide behind a shield and hold a sword, possibly attacking a wrong person without any notion we set the right path against the right target, or not. We might miss the good thing happening to us just because we have lied too much that we ourselves become lie, undoubtedly.

No truth, where got trust ???

There are researches showing why people tend to lie. To avoid embarrassment, to maintain privacy and all the others, but we need the fact to give us a wake-up call. People are actually not as vulnerable and fragile as you think. They could mostly accept the harsh truth more resiliently and openly. The crucial point is that how you are going to tell the truth that comes into account. If you don’t want to tell, for the sake of your friends or your own, then just tell the other party truthfully that you are not comfortable to disclose that information in a sincere way.

TRUST

Insecurity and fearful of being judged hinder people to stay truthful of who we are. We would think that NOT showing our strength and what we are good at, but openly displaying our sometimes-foolish mistakes, our weaknesses, and our idiosyncrasy, will prove to people out there we are just as incapable and worthless as they might perceive of us. Being the ‘perfect’ man/woman/boy/girl/trans is something people would dream to be. Everyone set a different standard on themselves that could lead them to be suspicious on their own capability and skills, even though in truth they might be good at what they are doing.

There are also some who are judgmental about themselves. They are always the high-achiever and high-performer and the perfectionist. They would not only do their best but would do EVERYTHING to the extreme perfection.

Sometimes I wonder if their brain will think: “WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS GAL! I HAVE WORKED FUCKING HARD ALREADY! DUN KEEP PRESSURING ON ME LIAO! YOU DON’T WANT SLEEP I WANT LEH BRO!” (based on a personal experience 😉). They want everything to be at a top-notch level. They want everything to reach to their ‘impossible’ standard. In the end they will wear themselves out in a deep regretful gut because their drained-out brain is no longer functioned. Stay true to your own capabilities are much more important than to please your inner ego and pride.

COMMUNICATION

That’s why communication is the best way to handle both outside world and inside world of ourselves too. Talk and communicate is always helpful and most effective in doing anything. Because through communication we can be only clear in our right mind knowing what we want. But the most pertinent key here is that we have to communicate in a truly sincere and humble manner.

The same terms with a contrasting tone could bring up such a different outcome. If a person says “I love you” in a very soft, intimate and intent way, you would feel warm right into your heart. But if someone says “I love you” in a very hatred and spiteful manner, then what do you think you will feel, even the term itself is supposedly a sweet word?

Lies: "I love you" but deep down I don't mean it.
Lied: "I love you too," OMG I can't believe you feel the same way.

Understand yourself and have an honest talk with yourself and people around you could really help you to become a more decent homo sapiens. Likewise, you would have no difficulty to communicate with people. If you don’t want to tell them what they ask of, then just mention it instead of throwing a lie out there. You make a mistake, own it up and take some fucking responsibility there. It’s not the end of the world there if you really think about it. Even it seems like that in your fucked-up brain, eventually you just have to own up the shit that u make, nevertheless.

Different people have different way to communicate. I have friends who are silent and talk less, but it doesn’t mean they don’t have an opinion or say. It just means they are not familiar with using their mouth to opinionate on subjects’ matter. They probably would use drawing, writing poems, making songs or just express it in a body language. That’s why all senses in our body got to be in some use. Utilize them all wisely. Observe and implement the right tools to learn each other’s communication way as well as yourself.

There is no right or wrong way to communicate, but only a right one for that person itself. That is why we are all different yet the same in some weird quirky way. Embrace it and eventually you can find that someone who knows your kind of language.

On a side note, during this pandemic period, it is more important than ever before to tell the truth, because what you tell determines the whole population life or death matter in this world. We are here to help each other regardless of background, race, age, sex and other differences because kindness and compassion is the superpower now.