I had
publicly scolded my girlfriend and called her as a bitch.
I had broken
down and cried uncontrollably in my working place.
Yeah. My
emotional self fucked me up once, or probably two time only. Fine, it was countless
for someone forgetful like me. Those were some shitty dark times that I had been
experiencing, which the emo Vivian back then had no idea I was actually in a messed-up
situation that I went around to fuck other people’s lives too.
Actually,
being emotional is not wrong. But, present this emo side of YOU in a self-destruction,
ruining-people-lives way is just purely immoral and shameful. Putting your
negative and sentimental self in front of people had some rules: it has to be done
in private and secret place. No one wants to know how pity and pathetic your
life that you have to shout out to all the other people around you who don’t
even know you in your first place. Tell someone that you trust in a quiet and
serene place with some desserts (this helps). If not, the drama-way is to go find
a hole in the tree and voice out all your desperation and satisfaction in life
(better than facing a toilet bowl, indeed).
When you are in your down times, you tend to get
nervous and do not know where to put your emotion away because you just want to
get rid of it before it eats you up. That is why we got therapist, friends and
families. They are not there being a mannequin to you, standing there just to
let you touch. They are there to support and just #bethere for you.
Other
than that, listening to soft music, reading comics, punching that sandbag,
kicking that ball into the goal, workout and all the destressing way that one
and only one suits YOU. Just do that and eventually your senses come back and
no doubt your rational side will kill you for whatever stupid thing you did to embarrass
yourself and possibly your loved ones too.
Don't let your emotion dictate your reason |
Knowing
how fragile and vulnerable you can be, is undoubtedly the best way to know
yourself. Being weak is not awful; what’s horrible is that you do not have the
ball to face You, the weak you. You are still YOU. YOU will know yourself better than ever before. It can be daunting and challenging, but you got to
live with it, because it’s a part of you. Don’t feel lonely. Seriously, you always
think people can’t have worse than what you got. But babe you are SOOO WRONGGG!
Side note: I am seriously thankful and grateful that
girlfriend that I screamed at is still my friend, luckily. But please don’t
even think of resembling it in any way. You won’t be that fortunate like me
over here.
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