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What's scarier than you do the same thing over and over but you are still doing it

 

If you are born and raised from an Asian family, I am sure that 99.8% of you had been forced to attend some sorts of extra classes or advancement courses to “improve” ourselves while we were young (0.02% were probably crying their eyeballs out to get their getaway card). There is a Malay saying: “Melentur buluh biarlah dari rebungnya.”, which means that learning in a tender younger age is the best way to cultivate and nourish skills! It’s especially applicable for Asian’s KIASU personality or more specifically Chinese people???

          I was definitely not excluded. I was sent to swimming lesson for my mom stating that drowning was very possible in this world covered of around 71% water. Hence, my mom sent every one of us siblings to learn swimming in a very early ages. Other than that, art class and taekwondo class since I was in primary school were attended too.  

        Truthfully, I am not here to complain  or being ungrateful. I actually enjoyed every moment that I had in those classes. Probably the reason was that it was not music-based classes. HAHA. 

        Those classes taught me something out of the usual context. I learnt to act quickly (Kick the ass out of you!) and calmly (here I drew a little pretty butterfly) at the same time. Most importantly, I could wade my way through ups and downs with no difficulties (Floating on the surface of water ↑ and diving into 2 meters deep↓ ).

          Habits; habits are the one that makes me who I am now. I did not hate those classes that I had to attend after finished schools when my schoolmates were happily jumping off to home, ready to play some console games. I did not grudge or throw bad tantrum around about going to swimming every single dark night right after finished my evening school. 2 hours holding the brushes to burst out my creativity might be one my younger me was so resistant about. However, I think it was the discipline or I just had no other desires to goof around when I was a kid, that I started to slowly fall into those classes. 


          Nonetheless, I believe habits are really something. It is definitely not easy. Imagine how much time your parents put in order for you to start to babble the first word from your mouth when you were few months old. Imagine how much effort you put so that you could learn how to successfully flirt your crush. Imagine how much brain cells you waste for thinking some brilliant moves to tackle that dance performance, yet you are STILL there. Right there not moving on your fucking couch. Don't think of acting but act to thoughts that form constant routines. 

          Making the first move is actually not that hard. But it was tremendously difficult to constantly making the same exact moves.  No one in this world starts off being successful in making ONLY one move with no failure and no painful stakes. Not the first step that is scary, but the nonstop small steps into your daily routine is. Doing the same thing over and over with no doubts and regrets are the SCARIEST. 

          The first jump into the pool is not scary. The back and forth swimming with unstoppable fathom is scary. The swimming competition to represent university is not scary. Everyday walk from the dorm to the pool for 20 minutes back and forth is scary. The first greeting to a friend is not scary. Maintaining the friendship is scary. Having short fling with anyone is not scary. Long-term committed invested relationship is darn scary.

          That is nothing proud of us doing something grand and marvelously amazing in a split second. The constant and ongoing action, even from a small one, matters so much because that is what our world needs to be a better place for us because the constantness and continuity are the ones  which last the longest sustainably. All we have to do after that is to be patient for the results. The little small successes throughout the process is a win too. Unless we are talking about a life-or-death pandemic, then I will shut my mouth and wear a mask.

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