Insecurity from nowhere

Recently I have been obsessed about this 2018 Thai TV-series. “Girl from nowhere” plots around a girl named Nanno, who transfers to different schools and exposes everyone’s dark secrets behind the facet of the 'innocent' education institution. Inspired by true story, this series really gives me all the feels and senses in brain!

Nanno from Nowhere

           To me, Nanno is the representation of our inner darkest side. According to Bangkokpost, she is described as the daughter of Satan or the snake from the Garden of Eden who comes to Earth to give forbidden fruit to humans. In each episode, she shows up at different school to test and reveal how evil humans can be.

            When I was watching it, I was horrified and scared of the depiction of this character. Not the kind of standard horrifying scared scenes from the sudden appearance of ghost or bloodlust monsters. Neither about the huge sound effect. It was the kind of a creepy one that you get when your heart was choking or cramping out of nowhere. It's just absurdly from nowhere. Like almost there but not yet there...

            What I’m trying to deliver here is that Nanno brings out the 'Satan' side of human beings using triggering words and inflammatory speeches. There is no doubt that her purpose here is to dig out the dark spirit lurking behind every soul of human.

Peer Pressure

            There is one specific episode (spoiler alert!) that just stuck in my mind for its unacceptable storyline. It is about how a poor guy is trying to fit in with his hellish rich-ass friends that he has to rent a fucking huge mansion just to impress his spoiled brat friends. What’s more is that he steals his parents’ hard-earned money that should be used to clear the family’s debts, just to show how badass ‘his mansion’ is, how much whiskeys he has, how big his golf field is and etc. But this is not even the climax yet! Not the bomb yet!

            Nanno, who magically helps him to find the mansion, even purposely hires his parents to act as the mansion’s helpers. Mind blown! The poor poor kid has to act like he does not know his parents and even let them get humiliated, teased and almost beaten to death by his rich friends. In the whole time, he does not do anything. He does not admit those are his parents. He doesn't even stop his friends from beating his parents. I was like WTF?!

          I would just say the ending is really blood chilling as the last scene shows the poor family having a ‘normal’ dinner back in their house where the camera slowly moves to a whole chuck of money put on top of the table. You get what it means.

            This is just one of the 13 episodes shown in the series. There are some plots which come out as the typical happy ending where some don’t.

Insecurity from everywhere

            This Thai series has made me put my feet back on the ground and think how much it reflects with the real life. All of us do have multiple personalities in one body. Some even we haven’t discovered. However, we find out that it is definitely amazed on how much a person can change everything in one's behavior. One person. One incident. One trigger point. Everything changes.

            It lets me wonder whether everyone’s dark side comes from insecurity. Insecurity, by definition, means uncertainty or anxiety about oneself. Be it to ourselves or to other people, what brings us to do something morally and ethically incorrect is that we are lacking the security of governing our heart from the doubts from outsiders and insiders.

“Come on, you are not good enough, come to mama’s lap”         

             Greed, power, desire, lust, jealousy, compliment, recognition, admiration, and other emotion-based factors are the one humans want so much. This kind of 'want' mainly stems from the root of insecurity. Fitting in, fear of missing out (FOMO) and peer pressure are outside factors that pull us out of ourselves and start to act as someone we are not. Lack of confident, loneliness and fear of being ‘not enough’ (not too smart but not too stupid) are the inner feelings that push us into doing things extremely different from what our initial intention are.

                Both the push-pull effect brings us to become the evilest side of us without meaning to. When we do realize what we have done, it might be too late to undo and change it anymore. Damages are done and loves are destroyed.

            The other day, I came across one of my friend's IG story. What she wrote was very interesting.

Would you bent until you break just to try and fit in?

Or would you rather let your own nature flow even if it means striving alone?

Your choice. Your decision. 

Here I end the post with an old saying added with my own twisted version:

   Curiosity killed the cat. Insecurity killed the whole species.