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"Mess" pot of Laksa

 Living in this multiracial and “muliti-flavourful” country, we – Malays, Indians, Chinese, Bumiputeras etc., are literally this big – super huge - pot of mixed Laksa. Yes, you hear it right. A hot delicious ‘messy’ pot of Laksa. Do you know there are 5 basic variants of Laksa, based on Wikipedia and 12 different types of them in Malaysia? This really surprises me when I always just eat one kind in Ipoh.

Not the most presentable, but taste like a miracle

            Don’t worry. I am definitely not a food connoisseur, so I am not here to talk about my food trip or my vlog. I come across thinking it, because I feel like we are living in this messy pot of Laksa.

            I don’t know what the heck I want to write. I had my writing block that I literally struggle myself in writing this exact post during these few days. I made a mess from juggling my job search as intern to my video presentation shootings and my weekly commitment on my blog and whatsoever. I am just a darn shitty mess. My brain is like becoming this mush of broth gravy or like the noodles in the laksa, just strangling bunch of knots to each other. They are  like fighting to try to get on top of each other. Ugh.

            It made me get this panic attack that I just kept looking out for anything online. I go through my Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, even my WhatsApp from random strangers, to get ANY ideas at all. I was just feverishly looking for something popping up. In the middle of it, I am not even sure of what that is anymore. I am just so fucking messy in those holes of my brain, like I can’t wait to fill up those gaps. Probably even shitty rubbish or lame memes can satisfy my desperate cries.

            In the end, I got so defeated and dejected that nothing is in. I just got to stop myself before I  decided to ruin my little, perfect yet fragile braincells. I was so fed up of myself that I just went to look back on my previous posts written 2 years ago, when I was not that actively blogging.

             While I was scrolling through the pages and reading lines by lines, memories began to come back slowly. Recalling all the good darn old days, it just let me realize how stupid I was at that moment. I was so caught up in my present mess that I forgot what my initial intention was when I started this blog. It was meant to record my thoughts, feelings and emotions that I knew for a fact that I could find calmness and serenity through my written words and expressed thoughts. 

I live through the mess; I live through the rainbow and storms; I live through the small insignificant events. All of these made me who we become to, and living through it is hard but not unachievable.

             We all somehow, in one way or another, are so fucked up as human beings. Just like how tangled up all those broths and garnishes in the laksa. We might smell pungent and look undesirable, but what’s inside of us are sparkles and gems. Sometimes we just have to remember to “kacau-kacau” the mess, so that what we have the aftertaste, even it be sour, spicy, sweet or sometimes fishy, those are made of love and good intention. We are a beautiful mess. 

            I once read a book about how it describes our life like a road trip. We are like a car. We weave through left and right, straight and (sometimes illegally) U-turn. One minute is sunny weather. Another minute is stormy rain. The heavy raindrops block us to view the front path, aka our future. That is why we need to constantly remind ourselves to clean off the mess as best we can as the wiper on the windshield swipes away the rain.

My go-to book every time I get lost and clueless of my life

 

            Even though we are living in a this big mess of hotpot, struggling our lives, let it be finding a job, straining to meet the ends or hopeless about what future beholds, remember that we are still breathing, living in the moment and this is the greatest thing to be grateful.

            Before I leave you with your mess, a little inspirational quote and heart-burning song from my favorite beings.

Gary 💪

 
Justin Bieber & Shawn Mendes - Monster





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