Be the Bigger Person

The famous entrepreneur/speaker/author Gary Vaynerchuck once quoted “Being the bigger person is always right!” What it means is that you don’t have to be a bitch after someone has been bitching you. You must be thinking “Walao, why not? That person talks bad about me. He/she is not a good person. Why I cannot do the same thing to him/her? An eye for an eye ah!” Hear me out here…

Kill them with kindness!!!

          That story happened to me. I was having a duty with my lifeguard friend beside the swimming pool, as usual for our routine to safeguard our “swimming playground” for the university students. We were both chatting randomly while still watching over the pool. (hey, still doing our job here) We were having a little conflict when he was complaining all about his groupmates, his lecturers and his ‘busy, hectic’ life. Throughout the conversation that’s only one vibe that keep spreading toward me: NEGATIVITY without context.

          Being the optimistic me, I was starting to talk some senses aka solutions or ways to approach those situations rather than bitching with him together. I reasoned with him that instead of using the time to actually bitch about it, he could just actually talk with them and actually tried to make some changes. He started to say that it was not going to work since they would still be being a jerk not doing their job. Then here comes the fight.

          Seriously, I hate that people always make assumption about someone, without actually taking the action and really trying to solve the problem. No action just talks. Then he became angry towards me being not understanding or whatever. He just walked off and ignored me. I was like what the hell. My first thought then was fuck you this narrow minded fellow, not appreciating my darn advice. I couldn’t believe that small discussion could actually trigger him to turn to become a Hulk.

          But after a few seconds, I approached him back, cooling him down by saying that I was merely providing my two cents that he could choose not to give a damn about it. Afterall, it was always his choice and decision since it did not affect me personally. Then, we were cool, and continued to stand guard by the pool chitchatting.

          What this incident has taught me is that it was no harm to be the first person to come up solving the conflict even you are not the one creating it. But the truth is what you say and how you say is certainly what matters here. Being apologetic for everything is not right, but the mistake you made has to be owned up. I approached and apologized first because the tone that I used that time was a little bit extreme and I said sorry for that. But I still would not withdraw my opinions. So, it does not mean that I am on the losing ground here because I said it first. It just means that I got the guts to own up and face it.

          Gary Vee once gave a wine supplier, who said Gary was a piece of shit before Gary became a famous entrepreneur, the chance to show up on his TV show to promote that jerk’s products. Because, you know what, being the bigger person is always right.