The famous entrepreneur/speaker/author Gary Vaynerchuck once quoted
“Being the bigger person is always right!” What it means is that you don’t have
to be a bitch after someone has been bitching you. You must be thinking “Walao,
why not? That person talks bad about me. He/she is not a good person. Why I
cannot do the same thing to him/her? An eye for an eye ah!” Hear me out here…
Kill them with kindness!!!
That story
happened to me. I was having a duty with my lifeguard friend beside the
swimming pool, as usual for our routine to safeguard our “swimming playground”
for the university students. We were both chatting randomly while still
watching over the pool. (hey, still doing our job here) We were having a little
conflict when he was complaining all about his groupmates, his lecturers and
his ‘busy, hectic’ life. Throughout the conversation that’s only one vibe that
keep spreading toward me: NEGATIVITY without context.
Being the optimistic
me, I was starting to talk some senses aka solutions or ways to approach those
situations rather than bitching with him together. I reasoned with him that
instead of using the time to actually bitch about it, he could just actually talk
with them and actually tried to make some changes. He started to say that it
was not going to work since they would still be being a jerk not doing their
job. Then here comes the fight.
Seriously, I
hate that people always make assumption about someone, without actually taking
the action and really trying to solve the problem. No action just talks. Then he
became angry towards me being not understanding or whatever. He just walked off
and ignored me. I was like what the hell. My first thought then was fuck you
this narrow minded fellow, not appreciating my darn advice. I couldn’t believe
that small discussion could actually trigger him to turn to become a Hulk.
But after a few
seconds, I approached him back, cooling him down by saying that I was merely
providing my two cents that he could choose not to give a damn about it.
Afterall, it was always his choice and decision since it did not affect me
personally. Then, we were cool, and continued to stand guard by the pool
chitchatting.
What this incident
has taught me is that it was no harm to be the first person to come up solving
the conflict even you are not the one creating it. But the truth is what you
say and how you say is certainly what matters here. Being apologetic for
everything is not right, but the mistake you made has to be owned up. I
approached and apologized first because the tone that I used that time was a little
bit extreme and I said sorry for that. But I still would not withdraw my
opinions. So, it does not mean that I am on the losing ground here because I said
it first. It just means that I got the guts to own up and face it.
Gary Vee once
gave a wine supplier, who said Gary was a piece of shit before Gary became a famous
entrepreneur, the chance to show up on his TV show to promote that jerk’s
products. Because, you know what, being the bigger person is always right.
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