Skip to main content

How to "Unsay" Promised Words

TLDR: Voice out sincerely about changing mind. This change reflects the truest self now. We can't unsay the things we said, but we can 'undo' it by renewing our statement. 

.

.

Few months back, I talked about how things in life is definitely not a 3-minute instant noodle. Results we want can’t receive in as quick as the food-delivery guy send us the food. When my intention of that post is to ask people to get patient for the long-term result, I slap my own face by just falling into that quick dense of my own paradox.

            In the early year of 2020, I have made my new year resolution in a manila card. Instead of the traditional list-down resolution, I have been inspired to create a Vision Board that has pictures to show the real imaginary that I want to achieve. I put this vision board in my bedroom so that I could constantly have it right under my vision, so that I can keep reminding myself about it.

So crumbled up like life in 2020 -.-


           
At the beginning of the year, I feel so demotivated that I find it so hard to catch up on the visions that I set up. Eating healthier, workout daily, emotional patch-up, and financial goal; it is extremely hard to achieve all of them when so much uncertainties and obstacles thrown at you at this particular ‘interesting’ year. I get so deviated and destressed by the surrounding conditions that I just throw tantrum that I gave up on my own resolution, thinking that it’s impossible to get all these goals with my current state.

            Ha. Jokes on me. The one who shouts for “BE PATIENT” is the one who can’t get her shit together to realize it.

            Rewind back to today, I have to say that I am thankful that I create this vision board that I thought it was lame just few months back. I do not know that I was slowly getting there. Just by passing by the board and having a glance on it every other days has put those goals subconsciously in my mind. I ingrain them into my habits by giving myself some solo time every once a week, exercising 20 minutes when I feel like it and getting more conscious about what I put inside my stomach,  even though once or then I ate 4 tubes of ice cream in just one week. Hehe ;)

            What I am trying to deliver here is that I am quick to judge about my resolution unattainable because: first, everyone in my life (especially online) says so; second, everyone expects a six-pack abs just grow magically from your belly right after they finish a 20 sit-up. If I stuck myself in this loophole of "I cannot do it! It's just too hard" and stay being a couch potato, I wouldn't write this post proudly and lecture you about it! HAHA

            Now, I could (and would) say I love this idea of vision board. It may look lame and fussy, but it is something that works for me. So, you could see I change my view about making new year resolution. At first, I think it’s a bullshit ass stuff that just conveniently creates the feel-good vibe; but I have changed my mind that it fits me completely with adding some cute pics and motivational quotes however I want. I admit that I have a different perspective back then (if not biased and judgmental) and now I change my mind.

_______________________________

            This comes easy when it is regarding about myself only. But what if that belief/theory you used to tell your friends, your families, your colleagues or your bosses turns out to be something you do not believe anymore. You might feel shameful and reluctant to tell your change of mind just because you used to tell the opposite way. It is as if you break you own promise

            People tend to think that when you stick with one thing, you got to be "loyal" about it. But that is not the case when it comes to your views and opinions. The world is rapidly evolving every second, so should your mind. You would open up and absorb more information that you do not know back then. With that, you are being more flexible and resilient now as things are not always as it seems like at first. That is why there are scientists and physicians change their stand about their latest researches and newfound findings. 

It's not because they are inconsistent and indecisive; it's just that things are changing in this world.

            Change of mind should be celebrated and not despised. Mark Manson taught me that. It’s really undeniably true that people could have these false illusions that they hope everything can be as simple, risk-free, comfortable and easy. No! Life is complicated, unstable, random and hard load of shit.

            So, just suck it up and admit your ignorance back then. You can undo that statement by telling that what makes you change your initial thoughts and how the new one suits you better. With a great reasoning and sincere tone, you would be just fine having your voices out to show your true expression.

            That’s why I used to say that I am impossible to like that lousy kid, or I just hate talking with kids. But now I like dealing with kiddos. Never say never. Who knows in the future we all become that one person we despise the most? But it's okay to have that thought. At least, right now, right here, we stand our ground and make our best for being who we truly are.


MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

YES Pain YES Gain

‘No Pain, No Gain’ has been a rather common heard idiom that someone will say while encouraging others to be more open to challenges and try new things so that more opportunities and experiences can be gained. This is ME  from The Greatest Showman           I have always been so open to new experiences that my life motto is “LAI!” to every challenge or rants my friends threw at me. “Lai” means ‘come on’ in Cantonese. Like, how I sometimes call out my poop in the toilet. The irrational and reckless Vivian will not consider the consequences and say YES to every fcuking dare people threw at me. This can lead to some really terrible consequences. Yet, I never did learn my lesson. Because of something I hold dear to, NO REGRET!           I led a really adrenaline-rushing year in 2019, because that year the rebellious, egoistic, careless monster was controlling my whole body and so...

Mental Health 0.1: Are you an Impostor among Yourselves?

  Disclaimer: This post is not related to the current trending game: Among Us, at all. (how I wish it is…). Okay. Back to the topic:           “Man, you don’t DESERVE all the applause!” “C’mon you are not even THERE yet!” Another voice comes in: “Nah, you just get LUCKY only! Do you really think this is good ENOUGH?”           Sometimes, all these voices come from people around you, but most of the time it comes from the voices within yourself. If you feel that way after managing to finish a task or achieve something, I guess you get a little bit of impostor syndrome.           Imposter syndrome means the lack of affirmation of yourself after able to achieve something or complete a work by proven facts. You view your own success as being someone’s work. You view yourself of being lucky to be able to get a new job. You do not validate your o...

What's scarier than you do the same thing over and over but you are still doing it

  If you are born and raised from an Asian family, I am sure that 99.8% of you had been forced to attend some sorts of extra classes or advancement courses to “improve” ourselves while we were young (0.02% were probably crying their eyeballs out to get their getaway card). There is a Malay saying: “ Melentur buluh biarlah dari rebungnya .”, which means that learning in a tender younger age is the best way to cultivate and nourish skills! It’s especially applicable for Asian’s KIASU personality or more specifically Chinese people???           I was definitely not excluded. I was sent to swimming lesson for my mom stating that drowning was very possible in this world covered of around 71% water. Hence, my mom sent every one of us siblings to learn swimming in a very early ages. Other than that, art class and taekwondo class since I was in primary school were attended too.           Truthfully, I am not here to ...