Share my Pie to Inspire

  Sitting on the train, keeping a 1.5m social distancing from other passengers, looking outside to see scenery views passing by rapidly, everything feels calm and quiet. This is what I secretly like. Deep down.           In my 20-year-plus life, I'm being labeled as an ‘extrovert’, ‘crazy bitch’, daredevil and annoying LOUD chick.           Those bewildering moments have been locked into my deepest side of memories ever since I step my foot into adulthood. Those memories start to fade away and all it's left is some tiny bits of here and there. It was as if the time you thought you forgot to brush your teeth and you went to re-brush it for the second time within 2 hours. I don't even know whether I could trust my own memories or not! But it doesn’t mean you can’t do those adrenaline-rushing things anymore. You have to create your own crazy version of healthy adult life now! Let me tell you: when you start to like e...

  Imagine sitting on the cold hard floor alone in living room. No furniture at all but a lonely table perking up in the middle of it.  There is just emptiness and more emptiness growing inside you. No other sound except the whirring sound coming from your spinning ceiling fan.             I am that person. I am left alone to discover this new, hectic urbanized life.             Moving out from my hometown, I came to this new city of Kuala Lumpur with the hope of jumping into this pot of hustling and bustling people. As the capital of Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur is indeed full of skyscrapers, luxury cars and well-dressed people in all-time.                 I am still experiencing culture shock -- wearing just a pair of slippers and pajamas-like clothes to just eat the dinner downstairs from my condo. My Ipoh-KL friends are in awe that I dare to dress ...

 A little art drawing about love. From my POV.  Draw yours as it can be eye-opening for what your heart truly looks for. Onion in love What does love look like to you? Who/What was your first love? Is love scary to you? What trait do you want in someone you love? What is your favourite animal? Can be real or fantasy PS, I am not a good artist at all. But this is good enough to figure out who I am and what I want. In some way at least. Have fun and enjoy.

Falling is so much easy. People always say falling, dropping, plummeting down is the hardest. It destroys, it tears, it humiliates, it breaks everything.  Honestly, the most struggling is not about that. It's in the middle of wanting to fall but not fall. It's the hanging part that shit the pants. It's the suspense. It's the almost there but not there.  It is so much tougher when standing at the end of two broken grounds…the dilemma is real. It’s head splitting and soul shattering… tearing me apart slowly…and it's so...shitty Me rn People make decision based on the majority votes, the pros and cons, the most effective one, the good or bad… What if the decision need to be made UPON yourself? It is about you… Facing dilemma between the past you and the future you is so freaking hard. The past you is so amazingly awesome, doing just fine and have everything you can dream of. Yet, deep down you know that’s not the real you. Something is missing. Something ...

Recently I have been obsessed about this 2018 Thai TV-series. “Girl from nowhere” plots around a girl named Nanno, who transfers to different schools and exposes everyone’s dark secrets behind the facet of the 'innocent' education institution. Inspired by true story, this series really gives me all the feels and senses in brain! Nanno from Nowhere               To me, Nanno is the representation of our inner darkest side. According to  Bangkokpost , she is described as the daughter of Satan or the snake from the Garden of Eden who comes to Earth to give forbidden fruit to humans. In each episode, she shows up at different school to test and reveal  how evil humans can be .             When I was watching it, I was horrified and scared of the depiction of this character. Not the kind of standard horrifying scared scenes from the sudden appearance of ghost or bloodlust monster...

Chinese New Year is just around the corner! Though 2021 means a whole different kind of vibe for celebration, it still does not stop me doing one of the most important elements during pre-CNY - g otong-royong (big cleanup at home).           I had spent my last week of January literally just doing that. From wiping the walls, dusting the drawers, dumping broken stuff to recycling old clothing, it was hell lot of work.           In the midst of cleaning up, there was no doubt that we would find out some past memories kept in somewhere around. This was where I found out the beauty of innocent childhoods and my past pure ignorant of this ‘cruel’ world .          IGNORANT vs INNOCENT According to Wikipedia, being “ ignorant ” describes a person in the state of being unaware, who deliberately ignore or disregard important information or facts, whereas, b...

I can't believe going to toilet doing my business will lead me creating this post:          Yesterday at 2pm, I got hangry (hungry + angry) since I hadn’t eaten anything since morning. So I ordered my first meal of that day - Mcd nasi lemak ayam goreng spicy . Frankly speaking, it tastes fantastically delicious. I enjoyed and savored every last bit of that nasi lemak. However, here comes to the burning point .            Recently, my body has transformed from a bad bitch to a good girl. My body couldn’t withstand anything more than moderate-level spiciness compared to my glamorous university time where I killed every eating-spicy-food challenge thrown upon me. I even managed to conquer the Ghost Pepper Instant Noodle without drinking in between. But now, haha.          Since COVID-19, it means one thing: m ore time at home = healthier food . Since mummy in the house, t...

When we are lost or start to feel hopeless and clueless, we will grab everything we see and hold on to it dearly. We will have this tendency to drive deeper into "the zone" to get us more into the "mood". When we are sad, we listen to sad song. When we are depressed, we watch tear-jerking movies. As if our inside world is not dark enough, we are just so attracted to ruin ourselves more. It drives us deeper to our shit and not wanting to find back the way out to the real world.               This notion hit me especially hard when I drove myself crazy with my mumbled thoughts lately. I was having insomnia the other night. I couldn’t sleep and might I tell you that I am a privileged kid that usually do not have problem of sleeping like a pig. So this was like a new-found field that I found myself so difficult to adjust to. I couldn’t sleep because all the bad shit that I could possibly think of started to squeeze up and consum...