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Emo is alright but dont let it fuck ya up


I had publicly scolded my girlfriend and called her as a bitch.

I had broken down and cried uncontrollably in my working place.

Yeah. My emotional self fucked me up once, or probably two time only. Fine, it was countless for someone forgetful like me. Those were some shitty dark times that I had been experiencing, which the emo Vivian back then had no idea I was actually in a messed-up situation that I went around to fuck other people’s lives too.
          Actually, being emotional is not wrong. But, present this emo side of YOU in a self-destruction, ruining-people-lives way is just purely immoral and shameful. Putting your negative and sentimental self in front of people had some rules: it has to be done in private and secret place. No one wants to know how pity and pathetic your life that you have to shout out to all the other people around you who don’t even know you in your first place. Tell someone that you trust in a quiet and serene place with some desserts (this helps). If not, the drama-way is to go find a hole in the tree and voice out all your desperation and satisfaction in life (better than facing a toilet bowl, indeed).

When you are in your down times, you tend to get nervous and do not know where to put your emotion away because you just want to get rid of it before it eats you up. That is why we got therapist, friends and families. They are not there being a mannequin to you, standing there just to let you touch. They are there to support and just #bethere for you.
          Other than that, listening to soft music, reading comics, punching that sandbag, kicking that ball into the goal, workout and all the destressing way that one and only one suits YOU. Just do that and eventually your senses come back and no doubt your rational side will kill you for whatever stupid thing you did to embarrass yourself and possibly your loved ones too.
Don't let your emotion dictate your reason

          Knowing how fragile and vulnerable you can be, is undoubtedly the best way to know yourself. Being weak is not awful; what’s horrible is that you do not have the ball to face You, the weak you. You are still YOU. YOU will know yourself better than ever before. It can be daunting and challenging, but you got to live with it, because it’s a part of you. Don’t feel lonely. Seriously, you always think people can’t have worse than what you got. But babe you are SOOO WRONGGG!


Side note: I am seriously thankful and grateful that girlfriend that I screamed at is still my friend, luckily. But please don’t even think of resembling it in any way. You won’t be that fortunate like me over here.

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